From time to time riders of the Muswell Hill Peloton turn to The Wattmeister for advice, counselling and occasionally the loan of a few watts.
Often this correspondence takes place via e-mail.
For example, after a particular tough Sunday ride, Pistol Pete gets some help with his grammar:
PP “…I,m still recovering from Sunday’s blasting…”
TW “…yes, even your apostrophe is suffering…”
On the subject of diet:
TW “…Slayer, if you wish to challenge the Lion King in the sprints, you’ll have to adopt the 5:2 diet…”
Slayer “…thanks TW, currently on the 5:2 diet…..5 doughnuts in the morning and 2 in the afternoon…”
and (Slayer)…”we’ve got Bradley Wiggins for lunch, (mainly the thigh)…”
On the subject of long distance rides:
TW “…I am doing a 600km audax on august 9th, Windsor-Chester-Windsor, looks like being a sprint finish…Slayer, if you want to go to the next level, come and do some 600 km training runs…”
Slayer “…hmmm, love to join but will be at White Hart Lane (not my idea)…”
Mathematical problems are part and parcel of the consultations:
Slayer “…if a 55 year old retired breakaway specialist, height 185.4 cms, weight 80.8 kgs, can put out 381 watts over 3 minutes, then how much does a 40 year old embryo sprinter, height 178 cms, weight 78 kgs, and 350 watts output for 3 minutes, need to spend on a road bike….?”
TW “…£7,376.46p not including pedals…” (answer computed in 0.003452 seconds).
And finally, on the subject of dealing with defeat (again):
TW “…the losing streak will be arrested, winners always find a way..”
With kind help from Young Saul.