Technical: give a cack-handed, half blind ex-super domestique a tiny tablet keyboard with predictive text and he will end up tearing the remaining hair from his cranium. Add a temperamental Garmin Bluetooth file which fails to load his record breaking ride to Strava, and you end up with a rider whose only source of comfort is a cake shop.
Now factor in The Wattmeisterin’s broken chain and a succession of roadies not one of whom offered her assistance as she pushed her bike up PuigMajor and you have all the ingredients for a tale of disappointment. Not so! The weather was fair. The Wattmeisterin had already climbed the Puig and had descended to the left turn for Sa Calobra before deciding to retrace her pedal tracks back up the climb.
Meanwhile, The Wattmeister was winching his way up from Sa Calobra more in the style of Harry Belafonte than Frederico Bahamontes, the ‘Eagle of Toledo’ , when he received news that the missus was in difficulties.
Engaging ‘super grimpeur’ mode, the former KOM in the Tour of Taransay fairly flew up the spectacularly carved mountainside road while brandishing the chain tool function on his Topeak Hexus multi-tool. (Evidence of this feat will be produced in due course).
The Wattmeister is dying a thousand deaths typing on this infernal machine so will cut this report short with immediate effect. It has put 20 years on his life which does not leave much over.