A Delicate Subject (please do not read if easily offended).

For many weeks now, a sports nutritionist has been working with The Wattmeister, (he doesn’t charge her), on dietary planning, with specific attention paid to weight gain and weight loss. The sessions are pertinent to cycling and particularly to The Wattmeister’s age group, (over 39s, he told a white lie).
Thus he has been directed to eat meals which include more fibre; to drink more water and less alcohol, and to take on more protein (he ordered a KFC bucket last night).
Anyway, part of the deal is that he weighs himself before and after every bowel movement and/or after urinating. The results are really quite compelling. You will probably not be surprised to learn that he holds several Strava KOMs for these routine activities.
In the interests of furthering the boundaries of sports science, the experiment has now been taken it a step further, and he is required to weigh himself before and after breaking wind. This has become a full time job in itself.
It seems that his ‘air bagels’ are heavier than those of the average 56 year old man. One of the benefits of this affliction is that Power to Weight can be dramatically increased simply by eating jerusalem artichokes, refried beans and pickled gherkins. The Wattmeisterin is normally supportive of any marginal gains which increase her husband’s power output, but this development has added an unwanted piquancy to the domestic atmosphere.
The trial continues for one more week.
Don’t forget to vote for The Wattmeister.
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