The Wattmeister’s participation in the Tour has been prevented by an outbreak of Baroudeur’s Bottom, a painful affliction which strikes the indefatigable solo breakaway rider. The condition last flared up in 2010 at the Tour of Tyttenhanger. There is no cure known to modern medicine except to sit in the bunch and slipstream….anathema to the feisty Wattmeister.
One does not acquire a rugged complexion (which causes both men and women to swoon) by sitting in and letting other riders take the wind. Each of The Wattmeister’s breakaways is represented by a characterful wrinkle etched into his mature sprinter’s visage, like counting the rings of a cross-sectioned tree in order to determine its age.
In order to facilitate recovery from his ailment, The Wattmeister has organised a month long series of seminars entitled : “My Time off the Front of the Peloton” which have been a sell out in the major towns of the Southern Delaware Peninsula, (total population 17). An opportunity to showcase TW’s unique talents will be presented via a new race, The Tour of Talbot, inaugurated to coincide with his birthday in September….(see photo below).
In order to maintain fitness for this event and the up and coming challenge of Paris-Brest-Paris, he has devised a circuit training regime comprising of squats, lunges, press-ups and sit-ups with 24 hours rest between each repetition.
Last night the July 4th firework extravaganza in Easton, Delaware was cancelled due to a rain shower, which meant that he and the intrepid and durable Wattmeisterin were forced to play a variation of Cluedo….killed by watching Barry Manilow at the White House on the TV.