Almost a Billion Seconds

Today, December 15th 2015, The Wattmeister and  Wattmeisterin have been betrothed for 850,990,400 seconds (and counting fast). It is a long time. Fortunately, his mother-in-law saw some potential in the embryonic sprinter-cum-baroudeur and allowed the nuptials to take place. The Wattmeister has been grateful ever since, not least for the vast improvement in his listening skills.

It is a little known fact that back in the early 1980s, when the two lovebirds were courting, that The Wattmeister had not acquired the knowledge of how to change an inner tube. The pragmatic Dutch nature of The Wattmeisterin took pity on the hapless Englishman and taught him how to glue a patch while simultaneously eating hagelslag and stroopwafels.

Decades have come and gone since those romantic bicycle maintenance trysts in the sand dunes near The Hague. In the intervening years, The Wattmeister has barely looked at another woman (unless clad in lycra), and has mended countless punctures.

His hearing has deteriorated, which has sometimes proven to be of great benefit, especially when the mother-in-law comes to stay, and also when his riding companions shout for him to take his turn on the front of the peloton.

The Wattmeisterin herself has some of emulated her husband’s incredible bicycling achievements by scaling the peaks of the Galibier, Peyresourde and Mont Ventoux on her hybrid bike.

Today the couple will celebrate the occasion with a shopping trip to Lidl. Yes, The Wattmeister knows how to treat his lady.


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