Here follows a slightly convoluted broadcast on behalf of The Wattmeister.
The senior athlete needs to show good discipline over the Christmas period in order to avoid losing form and condition. At the same time, one does not wish to be branded a “party pooper”, “curmudgeon”, or “wheelsucking teatotaler”.
A balance needs to be found in order to enjoy oneself (and be seen to be enjoying oneself), whilst maintaining a high level of fitness.
The Wattmeister has formulated a program for the over 50s rouleur which manages to combine the potential decay of sybaritic indulgence together with a robust physical exercise regime to temper the excesses of the Christmas period.
His tried and tested method is to drink Prosecco, lots of it, on two occasions in the 14 days preceding December 25th. Ideally, one would stay up until at least 3 a.m in questionable company. An hypothetical group taken from the Muswell Hill Peloton which fits this profile might include: Pistol, Slayer, Gray Goliath and Judge.
In an ideal world, this scenario would be repeated a week later, for example in the presence of RaphaPaul, Boudicca, SavilleRowAlex and Beefy Bastock.
Thus, once the athlete’s position as a boozer and socialite has been firmly established and roundly witnessed by eminent personages, he or she can then go about the serious business of working hard to offset the damage.
Over the past two weeks, The Wattmeister has frequented the gym, training in secret on the Wattbike, participating in spinning classes and sweating out toxins in the steam room.
It follows that his performance on the bike over the Christmas period has barely been affected by the aforementioned debauched and hedonistic extravagances.
The successful culmination of this program was third place in the Olympic Velopark sprint behind youngsters JollyGreenGiant and DingleDave, whilst managing to win the coveted over 50s prize in front of Wizard, Long Tom, BigMig and Dick the Miller.
Roll on 2016!