The mighty Gray Goliath, king of Muswell Hill Peloton’s superheavyweight division has expressed his desire to ride the Paris-Roubaix sportive whose course includes several kilometres of fearsome, bone-jarring cobbles.
In 2014, the legend that is Pistol Pete successfully completed the course. That experience has left him traumatised, only a few close friends have heard the full unedited account of his epic ride, and only one other person has seen the battlefield on his body where the drama was played out.
Just the whispered mention of “Paris-Roubaix” in the presence of Madame Shotgun (Pistol’s better half), is enough to make her clutch her buttocks and wail like a banshee.
The Wattmeister’s advice to Goliath is to remove the saddle from his bike and perform a test ride along the cobbled towpath of the River Lee to see how it feels. If he enjoys the experience, it will only confirm The Wattmeister’s opinion that the great man’s circuits need rewiring. If, as expected, he finds it one lick short of a lollipop, then as a club, we can help him find a way to achieve his goal.
One thing is for sure: it is the hardest ride The Wattmeister has never done.