Delusional Diaries

It is almost one full year to the day since The Wattmeister triumphed in the weekly  Muswell Hill Peloton Saturday morning gallop around Regent’s Park.

The question begs to be answered: what cosmic forces have been at work to prevent such an outstanding, (if somewhat mature), athlete from prevailing against his peers?

It is a little known fact that since March 2015, The Wattmeister has been afflicted by a rare strain of delusional virus. It is almost imperceptible to the naked eye, the naked reader or even the naked listener.

The symptoms are clear. At every turn, the patient claims to be The Greatest, The Funniest, The Cleanest, The Dirtiest and so on….whereas in reality these claims are not always backed up by performance.

After an extremely expensive consultation with Doc, the medical representative of Muswell Hill Peloton, it transpires that there is but one known cure for this terrible affliction.

The patient has to live up to the outlandish claims.

To wit, The Wattmeister, currently in the greatest, funniest, cleanest, dirtiest form of his life intends to turn back the clock and triumph again in tomorrow morning’s sprint.

He will be opposed by Krispy Kreme, The LIon King, Dingle Dave, Wolf and a host of other younger opponents, ……but they have been warned, the virus will be vanquished.

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