Defending Vicissitudes

The good news: with the passing of time, there is no sign of real deterioration in The Wattmeister’s climbing ability. In the second week of February 2012, his ascent of the magnificent Puerto de las Palomas nr Grazalema in Andalucia lasted 59 minutes and 30 seconds.

Four years later in 2016, once again in the second week of February in the company of BigMig, Wizard and Dick the Miller, the old boy recorded a time of 59 minutes and 31 seconds despite being buffeted by strong winds and soaked by persistent precipitation.

However, in February 2014, he posted a time of 55 minutes and 39 seconds for the 800 metre ascent. Scholars past and present of this wonderful sport will no doubt examine and question these results and then come to a wide range of conclusions, some of which may be of an accusatory bent.

At this point, The Wattmeister would like to preempt the doubters. In his soon to be released autobiography, entitled “Stuck in the Big Ring“,  he firmly denies that he has ever used any artificial performance enhancing aids such as mechanical doping, blood doping, Tramadol (you know who you are!), latex inner tubes, padded bibshorts or bananas.

The bad news: frankly, there are no tangible signs of improvement. Regrettably, it seems ever more difficult to bounce out of the Wattbed early on a Saturday morning in order to participate in the weekly Muswell Hill laps of Regents Park.

In the past seven days, a highly volatile combination of toothache and wind has blighted The Wattmeister’s well being, making cohabitation uncomfortable for all except The Wattmutt for whom wind is the norm.

On which note, it must be time to test the newly installed domestic air flow system.








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