Fellow riders of The Muswell Hill Peloton may have noticed a more subdued Wattmeister of late….not because it was his turn to pay for the coffees…as was unkindly suggested by The Lion King, but due to the almost unbearable throbbing pain of a persistent toothache.
Not since 1991, when Wattmeisterling numero uno was born, has The Wattmeister experienced such discomfort. On that occasion he had to resort to the gas and air intended for The Wattmeisterin in order to alleviate the dreadful symptoms.
After trying out several orthodox treatments such as Ibuprufen, Paracetemol and Aspirin to quell the suffering, (with little success), he resorted to searching out esoteric remedies via the internet.
Some of the suggested cures:
1) Make a paste of salt and pepper and spread it on the affected area.
2) Grind two cloves of garlic, mix with olive oil and dab on painful tooth.
3) Chew a raw onion.
4) Rinse with salt water
5) Inject with EPO.
The Wattmeister can report that NONE of the above managed to deaden the pain as claimed. However, after administering number 5, his time up Ferny Hill on Strava was halved.
Reluctantly, a visit to the dentist had to be booked. The Wattmeister is famously petrified of dentists….it is too long and too harrowing a story to recount here.
After a series of tests, including 20 unexpected but exhilarating minutes on the Wattbike, and numerous X-Rays, the dentist announced that she had never seen such a fine, healthy set of crooked teeth nor such a wonderful V02 MAX figure in her long career. Her suggestion was that perhaps The Wattmeister should see a psychiatrist…not a dentist?!
After that brief encounter, a bank manager more like!