It has been a good week for the grotesque abnormality that is The Wattmeister’s vanity. For months on end, it has been starved of tasty sweetmeats as the inevitable passing of seconds, minutes, hours and days chip away at the mind, body, and yes, even the irrepressible self-confidence of late middle age.
But my word how things can change, seemingly in the turn of a chainwheel.
First off, feisty Karen, a personal trainer at the gym, remarked on the muscular appearance of The Wattmeister’s old pin pegs. Within the blink of an eye, another female member told the in-form rouleur that he had… ‘a fit body’. (Let’s hope The Wattmeisterin skips this edition).
Let me tell you dear reader, that all the pain endured during those High Intensity Interval Training sessions was worth it!
Moving on, some of you may be vaguely aware that The Wattmeister currently holds the Strava KOM on Ridge Sprint Sign, the Blue Riband of all segments. There have been many attempts by members of Muswell Hill Peloton and other clubs to secure this prize…..famously, one rider even tried to steal it BY USING HIS CAR! (Slayer, you shall remain nameless).
Today, Yoda, one of the mightiest amateur riders in the whole of North London, some might even use the moniker of “The King of Regents Park”, made a serious attempt to wrestle the KOM from The Wattmeister’s steely grip. The fact that he targeted the segment at all, the fact that he tried three times to beat the current best time of 49 seconds is extremely flattering….Yoda is a veritable powerhouse, his cruising speed on the bike coincides exactly with The Wattmeister’s VT (vomit threshold).
Let me report that the young whippersnapper failed by one second to change the course of cycling history…..but no doubt he will be back.
As for The Wattmeister, does he have another sub 49 second effort in him?