While The Wattmeister slumbered, forces beyond his control were moving The Wattmobile to a secure holding pen for examination, apparently the result of a ‘tip off’ from a disgruntled rival.
This inconvenience meant that not only could he not watch Stage 16 of the Tour live, (the TV extension cable doesn’t stretch from Muswell Hill to Edmonton), but also, he had to hold his wee in for much longer than is suggested for a man of his age.
The vehicle was thoroughly searched for performance enhancing drugs, but of course dear reader, none were found. The Wattmeister is and always has been clean during his spectacularly unsuccessful riding career. Perhaps, in his case, they should start searching for performance damaging drugs.
Matters were satisfactorily resolved on the rest day of the Tour. Proof of MOT and DVLA tax was produced, and The Wattmobile was released unconditionally. It is back in place on the sloping driveway.