This short story has been lifted from Wattmeisterling Numero Uno’s Twitter feed.
Bad news never seems far away at the moment, but The Wattmeister is pleased to announce that his firstborn exhibits compassion and empathy for all living creatures, with the exception of spiders.
Disguised, she made her way through the packed and labyrinthine backstreets of London’s West End…(she believes that the paparazzi follow her when they lose track of her father), and spied what at first glance seemed to be a parched cornichon, which perhaps had fallen to the ground from a passerby’s Pret A Manger Cheese & Pickle sandwich.
In fact, on closer inspection, (she was just about to pop it into her gob), she had chanced upon a lonely slug, isolated from its natural habitat in a desert of concrete….Slug Sahara if you prefer..
Sensing that the slug was dehydrated, she doused the mollusc with cool water and proprietary electrolyte mix from her Wattmeister bidon.
The combination of love and whatever banned substances were in the bidon rejuvenated the slug and turned it back into a gherkin.
Which was swiftly devoured by the ravenous Wattmeisterling.