The Personal Stylist

It happened all of a sudden. The Wattmeister had taken great care to balance the weight of the daily supplies between two Sainsbury’s ‘bags for life’. 

The negotiations regarding the purchase of these bags were as complicated and protracted as the Brexit process. The crux of the deal revolved around the central questions of :

…. bags for whose life?

The life of the bag? The life of the bag buyer? The life of Sainsbury’s?

Never has more thought gone into spending 2 shillings. two bob or a florin, (10 pence to you youngsters).

Anyway, we have gone off course. TW was strolling down Dukes Avenue in Muswell Hill, executing alternate bicep curls with aforementioned shopping bags whilst replaying in his mind Saturday morning’s magnificent ‘A’ group sprint victory.

Distracted and still euphoric, he spied  what appeared to be an elderly cyclist struggling up the hill towards him. As the pale figure came ever closer, he realised that it was none other than Pistol Pete on his way home from work.

Now, in real life Pistol has a similar physique to Bernard Hinault, The Badger, 5 times winner of the Tour de France. That is to say broad shouldered, deep chested…..reminiscent of an old fashioned rugby union fly half.

However, as he approached, his silver Castelli windproof rain jacket had the peculiar effect of ageing him, making him seem slight of build. Some might think that this is ‘a good thing’, however, knowing Pistol’s robust physical and mental condition,  the Wattmeister felt cheated that he hadn’t immediately recognised the great man known also as….Beast of Becherel .

And so, after first telling Pistol about Saturday’s victory in great detail ,the idea was born to reinvent himself as a Personal Stylist for the discerning cyclist.

Never again be mistaken for an old dude, or dude-ess. The Wattmeister will help you to choose colours and fabrics to suit your build, physique, complexion and riding style.

Ride your bike with complete confidence that you look the part and the bike looks the part. Never again be ashamed to catch your reflection in those lovely mirrored buildings up the West End.

Here is an example of what to avoid.



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4 Responses to The Personal Stylist

  1. Not a good look.

    The Beast of the Becherel is a great nickname. In reference to my prodigious lasagne intake I may take on a slightly amended version…

    The Beast of the Bechemel.

    Regarding the bag for life question, I think we need a referendum.

  2. stravamad says:

    Thanks Pete, I completed 8 laps of Regents Park dressed like this ….in a group…nobody said a word! 🙂

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